Blog

Blog Tags


Tags: COMMUNICATION

Description:

When It All Goes Right!

Nikky

Despite having spent many years sharing my thoughts and opinions on successful communications with children, it alway gives me a huge thrill to hear about a positive outcome.


I am part of the expert team for Inspiring Parents UK and Baby College UK. Through these organisations, I was contacted by a young mother who had seen my Tedx talk “Play, Laugh, Shut Up!” on YouTube, and who was looking for advice on communicating with her one year old daughter. She felt there was little or no connection as her child failed to make eye contact and didn’t seem to be listening to her mother. Mum was also worried that there might be some underlying development issues. This was the essence of my reply:

It’s difficult for me to offer advice from a distance, but I have a couple of guidelines that might be useful to you. The first is to try and let her lead, be with her (especially on the floor) when she is playing, and watch her closely. If she makes any sound or movement, copy it back to her. Remember that she has to learn the very basics of conversation, one of which is turn taking. If she is reticent to vocalise, concentrate on the physical. Have you tried being with her in front of a mirror? Does she react to her own reflection?

Try not to panic, everyone develops at a different rate, with or without additional issues. It won’t help if you are feeling anxious as your baby will only pick up on that anxiety. Enjoy this stage of your baby's life. Enjoy the play, enjoy learning about her personality, allow yourself to play.


Two days later I received a message through Baby College that mum had followed my suggestion and said it was the first time in a year that she felt like she was actually playing with her daughter and getting a response back, with the little girl laughing with her throughout.

I share this not to blow my own trumpet, but to offer up some tangible evidence that simple techniques like this can really work. In a world full of various, sometimes conflicting, pieces of advice, it can be easy to get confused and to lose confidence. If in doubt, take a step back, be sensitive, let the child lead and they will almost always show you the best way to proceed.

No Words

Nikky

Recently I caught up with a friend I hadn’t seen for over a decade. The last time I saw her, her little girl Ellie was nearly four and together they showed me their favourite game, which was called, “Words in the Bin”.

Read more

The Conversational Duet

Nikky

One of my favourite episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation is when a crew member comes back from some R&R on a distant planet, and brings with them a game. 

It’s a computer game that you play via a special pair of glasses, the aim being to use your concentration to deposit virtual spinning discs into randomly appearing cones. It soon becomes apparent that something else is going on, as more sets of the glasses are replicated and the entire crew becomes so obsessed they cease to function, becoming addicted to the endorphin release that the game triggers. Even Captain Picard succumbs - I know! Interestingly it is left to youth, in the shape of Wesley Crusher, to save the day.

Read more

A Teenager's Room is Their Castle.

Nikky

Last week I wrote about one of the ways children cope with a sense of powerlessness. For teenagers this often manifests itself with a strong territorial attitude towards their bedroom.

Read more

Trust Your Instincts

Nikky

Now this might seem a bit rich from someone who writes a blog every week about communication with children and young people, but in this column I’d like to touch on having faith in your own judgement, rather than stressing out about what you read is the correct way to do things.

Read more