Last week I wrote about ‘praise’ - this week, I’d like to deal with it’s cousin ‘expectation’.
That voice that comes from inside us, telling us not to even bother trying, because we’re just no good at it; telling us we are and always have been hopeless at maths, spelling, art or whatever - that voice came from somewhere.
I bet that if you relate to that, you also know where and when that voice started for you. You know which teacher told you you couldn’t draw, which test you failed or what event exposed your weakness.
Do you think you received enough praise as a child? Or maybe you received too much? Do you think you praise your children enough? Or too much? Do you see any connection between your own experience regarding praise as a child and how you behave now as an adult?
I read a great many articles concerning our communications with children, and it’s surprising how at any given time, a common theme will rise to the surface. Recently that theme seems to have been praise.
I’m not much of a one for televisual talent competitions, but I watch them now and again (so shoot me!). There always seems to be a lot of talk about confidence from the competitors, and here as in day to day life, it is always viewed as a positive thing. However, I think something vital is being missed.
There is a secret weapon to help your children’s bodies work better, to help them feel better, to help them perform better and to help them be happier.
We all have our own concept of ourselves, our own idea of self, and our own idea of when we are our best selves. It may not happen very often, but you know those moments when you feel a little more alive, feel that you are thriving and contributing more. Our language says it all when the converse is true and we are feeling unsure of ourselves.